


How Varian and Amren Became A Thing

by samaykay912



Category: A Court of Thornes and Roses - Fandom, A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, ACOTAR Fandom, Amrian, Varian and Amren, Varmren
Genre: F/M, Letter Swapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 04:01:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samaykay912/pseuds/samaykay912
Summary: My version of the origin story between Amren and Varian. I feel like the title says it all.





	1. 1- Varian

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so, thanks for looking at this. Feedback and Kudos are appreciated. I've already written this whole thing so it's gonna get posted all at once. Wish me luck people.

_ Dear Varian, _

_ I would just like to say I appreciate the necklace. It’s beautiful. I also love the blood rubie. It’s a perfect paper weight. Especially when I needed one lately. I thought I should apologize for my Court’s behavior. But, you should have been prepared for it- we have a reputation don’t we? _

_ Although, I have to ask, how’d your High Lord take it? Mine’s brooding and drunk and not even  _ Feyre  _ could make him happy. So, there’s that.  It sucks that I can’t help him but he’s really closed himself off since the mountain. If you want me to be honest with you, I’m worried about him. He’s not as joyful as he used to be… I’m worried he’s turning into his father. I’m just glad that Feyre's around to keep that from happening. _

_ Anyways, thanks for the jewels, they make me happy. If you wish to reply, set the letter down on the rock outside the pleasure barge. I’ll pick it up later. Don’t worry it’s not like I’m going to be killed by your guards anytime soon- they were trained poorly. You might want to fix that. _

_ Your Frenemy, _

_ Amren _

_ P.S- Am I your friend or foe? You couldn’t seem to figure that out yet… have you? _

 

Varian stared at the letter on his bed in awe. How could that tiny woman thing break into his court? Why would she thank him for putting a price on her head? If anything, after he read the letter, he was more confused about her as ever. He found the letter on the rock at the pleasure barge after the guards said that they found it in the morning after a quiet night.

Apparently, Amren was right: his guard were trained poorly. He intended to fix that. Why would she actually give him solid advice? She comes from one of the most bloodthirsty courts of all time and yet she decides to show him kindness? It’s strange.

But then again, Tarquin thought that Rhysand fucked Armatha to distract her. He thought that Rhys actually  _ helped _ the Summer Court fight against her. He actually trusted that they just wanted to create an alliance. After what they did, it betrayed his trust- he’s shut himself down and is trying to learn the ways of court as fast as possible. He’s hurt and angry.

But yet he’s still not pursuing them- he hasn’t even told Tamlin about Feyre’s visit. He’s risking his court for people that  _ stole _ from him. And they didn’t steal money- they stole a book that was thousands of years old and helped to create the Cauldron itself. Why Rhysand would even want a book he can’t read, he has no idea.

Maybe he could find out. He grabs his stationary and a pen from his desk across the room. And tells all the guards by  the pleasure barge to take the night off or turn a blind eye. 

Then he sits at his desk and begins to write.


	2. 2-Amren

_ Dear Amren, _

_ If you’re being honest, I may as well be- Tarquin is hurt and angry. He’s trying to hold himself together and yet fails to address his pain. It’s sad to watch.  _

_ And believe me, I tried to prepare for your arrival- but Tarquin wanted to trust you. He wouldn’t let me place spies on any of you or station guards with specialized hearing outside of your rooms, trust me, I tried. _

_ Anyways, although you betrayed us all, I have to admit that I appreciate someone who tried to cover a lie with a truth. My guards on the Spring border noticed that Hybern’s men are overtaking the Spring Court. Feyre’s back at the Spring Court- saying that she was brainwashed… is that true? I figured that if I was honest, we could continue our honest conversation. She seemed so happy around Rhys- and him more so. _

_ Rumors are saying that she’s his mate. I’m not surprised if that’s true- although I would prefer your confirmation. Now, why would you like the Book? It’s not like you can use it and I figured that if I tried to play politics with you over paper, it would just make me look like an idiot. _

_ Your Frenemy, _

_ Varian _

_ P.S- I honestly can’t tell if you are a friend or foe at this point… if anything, your letter made me more confused about it. Hopefully, your reply can shed some light on the subject. Thank you. _

...

Amren laughed while reading her letter. She decided to take a break from translating the book or training the hellhound known as Nesta by visiting the Summer Court. She was pleasantly surprised to find a reply right where she asked for it and no guards around to knock out with drugs or her own fists.

Amren was extremely busy since she first sent that letter. She sent it to not only irk Varian, but to hopefully maintain some connection to the Summer Court. (And maybe get laid- but she would never admit that out loud. Ever.)

Apparently: it worked. Now, however, she was going to have to respond to Varian’s extremely uptight letter. Should she tell the truth? Her High Lord would be  _ pissed  _ if she relayed any information to the Summer Court.

But then again, she saw how honest Varian was trying to be. She didn’t doubt that Tarquin was heartbroken. She appreciated his honesty. In this time of war, no one seemed to tell the truth anymore. The fact that he’s trying to trust her to uphold an honest conversation is admirable. Stupid, but admirable nonetheless. 

So, she grabbed a pen and began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	3. 3-Varian

_ Dear Varian, _

_ Could you please write like a normal person? You sound like a fucking statue at this point, as if you have someone standing over your own shoulder- it’s sad. Did anyone teach you how to write- you were probably right to not play politics over paper you would look like a idiot. _

_ I’m going to be blunt- I can’t tell you everything. I can tell you some things- but I can’t give away the Night Court’s plan without consulting my High Lord. And since he doesn’t know that I’ve been keeping correspondence with you, I’m just going to tell you some things. I won’t ask as much though. I feel like that’s a fair exchange. _

_ Yes, Feyre is Rhysand’s mate. And yes, we know someone who could translate the book- me. I could use it to get back to my home if I wanted to. Everyone thinks that I would want to- except I don’t. I love it here and here I’m able to experience the full spectrum of emotion and the right to be as curious as I’d like. No one thinks that I wouldn’t want to go home- if you want to keep it that way, I won’t stop you.  _

_ Feyre’s brainwashing and the need for the Book of Breathings is Night Court business I’m sad to say. So, I can’t tell you much about that. _

_ Now, I feel like you should tell me a secret now. You have one of mine- it’s only fair. _

_ Your Friend, _

_ Amren _

_ P.S- I now  _ have  _ to consider you my friend. I wouldn’t have told you a secret otherwise. I made your decision for you. You’re going to have to deal with it. _

…

Varian chuckled at Amren’s letter, with a smile on his face. He was excited to see the letter on the usual rock and told the guards to turn a blind eye tonight so he could reply and get it to her immediately. He couldn’t read it yesterday- he was busy.

He hears a knock on his door. He knows it can only be Cress or Tarquin at this hour- he hopes it’s Tarquin. He needs to talk to someone- I see him close himself off more and more lately. If it’s Cress, then he knows he’s in trouble.

For what: he has somewhat of an idea.

He opens the door and sees Cress standing there with a furrow between her brows and a flushed look on her face. “Why are you asking the guards to turn a blind eye to the pleasure barge not once, but  _ twice _ since the Night Court incident? Do you want us to get killed.”

Varian opens his mouth to respond, a lie already planned within the second, “I have a spy from the Night Court and to protect them I have the guards turn away so no one knows who they are. I’m sorry I’m better at doing your job than you are.”

A flash of hurt crosses Cress’ face as she replied smoothly, “Really? What can you tell me about the situation at the Spring Court.” Varian knows that she actually means what’s the situation with Feyre.

“Rhysand is truly her mate and weather or not she was  _ actually  _ brainwashed is uncertain.”, he pauses, “I can also tell you that they have someone who can translate the Book of Breathings at the Night Court. Weather or not they will use the Book on us is unknown- although probably not. When Rhysand received the blood rubies, he got drunk and was apparently brooding for a while. Not even  _ Feyre _ could cheer him up and they’re mates.”

Cress looks at me in awe. I feel bad for lying to her- but technically, I didn’t lie. I just  _ omitted  _ the fact that Amren was my spy and we’re both  _ exchanging  _ information. She then nods in respect and leaves my room saying, “Limit blind eyeing the guards to once a week please. And have it on a seven day rotation. We don’t want the Night Court attacking us, now do we?”

Varian swallows as he begins to write his response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	4. 4-Amren

_ Dear Amren, _

_ You have no right to decide our relationship status… which, as far as I’m concerned, is acquaintances. For now. And I promise I’ll try to write normally. It’s just that when I don’t put a leash on myself I tend to swear like a fuckng sailor. _

_ Alright so my secret: I lied to get this to you. When Cress (that’s what we call Cresseida , and if you call her that, she will figure out it was me who told you and skin me alive, so please don’t repeat that name) came to interrogate me about weakening our defenses, I replied with the first lie I thought of. I said that the reason why I clear out the guards around the pleasure barge is so I can meet with a spy in the Night Court. I hate to say this, but by spy, I meant you. Please excuse my shity lie because I’m clearly a shity person.  _

_ Now back to the business at hand, how’s Rhys? This is honestly me trying to be a courteous person before I ask the questions I actually want to know. Now, I heard that Feyre had two sisters and they were tortured by Hybern… is that true? It’s even said that some High Priestess and friend of Tamlin’s is the one who sold them out. If so, I’m sorry… and I hope they’re doing okay. As much as we all hate to admit, none of us at the Summer Court could hate Feyre and weather she was brainwashed or not is still undetermined. _

_ Unless you would like to shed some light on the subject. _

_ Now, if you have any questions that I can answer without revealing the plans of the Summer Court  and its High Lord, please feel free to fucking ask. _

_ Your Truly, _

_ Varian _

_ P.S- Feel better now that I’m not being so mother fucking uptight? Cause I sure as shit don’t. _

…

Amren reread the letter a third time, making sure she caught every single detail. It seems that Feyre’s plan, whatever it actually was, was working. No one can tell is she is still true to the Night Court. That little piece of information to confirm the success of her High Lady’s plan was worth it.

Amren’s glad that she sent the letter to Varian- it gave her a friend that she didn’t have to lie to. She didn’t have to see the look on his face when she said she wanted to stay here. She didn’t have to see the dread and sorrow that she would see in her friend’s eyes. It was much appreciated. 

Although, she has to ask, why did he think that he was a shity person? Because he lied? Lying is a common thing. It’s something everyone does. The fact that he feels so guilty is yet another thing to add to the list of things she likes about Varian- much to her own demise.

“Who is the letter from?”, Nesta asks, her voice rough after she went an entire day without speaking.

“No one important.”

“Certainly the person’s important if you’re actually showing emotion in front of me. It’s not like you… are they good or bad.”

“Good.”, I answer without thinking.

“Then”, she pauses, as if she’s about to admit to something, then thinks better of it, “ keep them close. And make sure you won't regret a  _ damn  _ thing you did concerning them.”

Amren nodded. She knew that the hellhound was not only abused by her family, but by one of her lovers too. It was in the way she stiffened at the sight of any male near her. The way she wouldn’t let herself out at night. Amren felt bad- but knew that she shouldn’t mettle. It never ended well. The only person who could truly pull off mettling was the Suriel- and  he was a drama queen with the heart of a dreamer- so Amren always forgave him.

She then sighed and told Nesta, “I’ll leave you to your reading… but first, do you have anymore advice?”

Nesta said quietly, “If you like them, fight to be happy with them. You sure as hell fucking deserve it.”  _ And I need someone to teach me.  _ Her eyes relayed to me silently.

“Will do.” Then she stormed out of the House of Wind to write to her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	5. 5-Varian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe we are approaching the halfway point... so I'd just like to remind you that feed back is much obliged and kudos are appreciated. BUT this chapter gets a little more mature so be prepared.

_ Dear Varian, _

_ No, you are not a shity person. With the way the world is going, you are going to have to do a lot of shity things for the greater good. If anything, I’m the shity person out of the two of us. I don’t want to go home and that means that I’m shit. I have absolutely no problem leaving my family in my old world. None. You’re a saint compared to me. _

_ And acquaintances?  _ Aquatiances?  _ I’ll take it but… why start so professional? I want you off your leash and it’s clear that you have thought of me naked and astride you at least once.  _

_ Anyways, how’s things at the Spring Court? Rhysand is doing his best. To be honest, it seems like he’s constantly trying not to break from missing Feyre her absence is felt all over this court. How is she doing anyway? Have you seen her? Has she been eating? Is she not a twig? The last time she was in Tamlin’s house, she starved herself as Tamlin sat around and did nothing. Rhysand would have to force her to eat when she visited. If they weren’t enemies already, I would have made an enemy of him for what he did to her. _

_ Has Hybern invaded you yet? If they ever do, take a letter to the Winter Court and we’ll send troops. If Rhys is unwilling then I’ll send  _ me _. And besides, I’m way more fun than an army anyways. _

_ Just to be clear, I consider you my friend. You may consider me what you will, but I will consider you my friend.  _

_ Although, if Cress wanted to skin you alive, I would pay to see that. _

_ Your Friend, _

_ Amren _

_ P.S- So we can both agree that at least the two of us aren’t enemies? Good.  _

…

Varian was the last to enter the morning meeting. He was late because he slept in trying to prove Amren wrong. After she put that thought in his head, he honestly tried to ignore the tent between his legs last night until he finally gave in and thought of Amren. It didn’t take long for him to climax with the thought of her naked and astride him.

He hated the fact that she was right. But then again,  _ she  _ was the one who put that thought in his head. Probably because she got herself off on the very same image. Or at least, he hoped.

“Who the  _ hell  _ are you fucking?”, Cress deadpanned.

Tarquin flinched, “Cress… that’s not exactly the kind of things you asked at an official meeting.”

“I wasn’t fucking anyone.”  _ Except me. _ I thought to myself.

Tarquin glared at Varian, then continued, “As I was saying, the Spring Court wanted us to keep an eye out for Feyre since she was taken from Tamlin.”

Cress rolled her eyes, “He needs to let her  _ go. _ ”

I scoffed, “Tell me about it. Especially since when she first became fae he practically let her starve to fucking  _ death _ . The only time she ate was when her bargain forced her to the Night Court for fuck’s sake.”

Tarquin and Cress twisted their heads towards me, their eyes wide in astonishment. 

Shit. “I said that part about the Night Court out loud, didn’t I?”

They both nodded in unison and then Tarquin says quietly, “How did you know that? No one knew for sure what happened between her and Tamlin and yet you said it with such conviction. Who are you talking to?”

“I know a person who lives in the Night Court- they are part of the staff- they bring a letter here once a week and convey information to me that way.”, I reply, trying to sound as professional as possible.

Tarquin looks a taken back. “Oh.”

Cress’ eyes fill with an understanding, “Are you fucking your spy.”

“No.”

Cress doesn’t look convinced. “Really? Then why are you staying up late enough after they visit to a point of  _ sleeping in _ . You never sleep in.”

I raised a brow, “I don’t sleep with anyone. I  _ won’t _ . At least not until we have enough allies to feel safe in our own Court.”

Cress scoffed and before she could retort, I said smoothly, “And frankly, what I do with my life and my dick is none of your  _ fucking business _ .”

Tarquin clapped his hands, “I think we’re done for now.” 

Varian then stormed out before Cress could upset him even more. He’s  _ so  _ telling Amren about this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	6. 6-Amren

_ Dear Amren, _

_ You aren’t a shity person- you forged your own family… why would you ever want to leave it? And no, I didn’t think of you naked and astride me before your last letter, and even if I did, it’s none of your fucking business. _

_ Speaking of business, when I was at a meeting today after sleeping in, Cress decided that I was fucking my spy and that’s why I slept in. You should’ve seen the look on Tarquin’s face-he was mortified. _

_ Feyre left the Spring Court- well ‘was taken’ by the NIght Court but I doubt it. You wouldn’t be so worried if you were planning on taking her back. So she probably left. _

_ By the way, the information in your letters about Feyre and the Night Court I’ve been telling my court. You have every right to do the same if you need to. I’m sorry I did it’s just… it slipped out when Cress was pissing me off and making me feel inferior.  _

_ I thank the Cauldron everyday that Hybern hasn’t invaded us yet. I’m trying to retrain my guards... any tips? I know that war is looming especially with Tamlin losing his hold on his people.  _

_ I’m not going to lie to you… I’m frightened. We’ve never fought before in war- we weren’t born in time for the last one. I can’t imagine losing any of my friends or family to a war… I don’t want to. I hope that your friends can fight as well as they lie. If so, I know you won’t lose them. _

_ I’m beginning to think that the entire “Night Court is a bunch of homicidal maniacs” fact is total bullshit. If it is, I hope that you guys get rid of your masks soon. If you do wear a mask, why would you? Even if you answer in hypotheticals, I’d be happy. _

_ I hope your okay and preparing for war as best you can. _

_ Your Friend (yes, by this point, we are friends), _

_ Varian _

_ P.S- If you see Feyre please make sure she’s okay. If so, give me updates. She was one of the only few people I know from the Night Court that wasn’t an asshole. _

…

Amren smiled as she read the letter; as much as she’d hate to admit it every letter from Varian always seemed to make her smile. She was on her way to a family dinner now that Feyre was back.

“Amren.”, Feyre said quietly. I flinched- I didn’t hear her coming up behind me. She has a gentle smile on her face like she’s happy for me. Not for herself- she never cared about herself and probably never will. She’s like Rhysand that way.

“What’s so important that you had to rip yourself away from Rhysand?”, I ask with me eyebrow raised- it tends to scare away pointless requests.

I know that it’s important when she says, “I need you to train Nesta. She’s one of the only people I know with the type of magic to fix holes in the Wall.”

Training the hellhound? “Did she agree to it?”

Feyre nodded, “I wouldn’t be here if she didn’t.” She then proceeded to sit down next to me and try to glance at my letter. “Who’s the letter from?”

I put it to my chest before she could read a word. This letter is mine, and I enjoy reading them. I worry that if anyone else notices who they’re from- the Court might force me to exploit it.

Besides, if Varian’s keeping me a secret the least I could do was return the favor. In more ways that one. He thinks it’s not my business as to what gets him off. I plan on proving that idiot wrong the next time I see him.

“None of your concern.”, I say tightly.

Feyre holds back a laugh, “Does the thousands of years old fire drake have a  _ crush  _ on someone?” A laugh finally escapes her, “Cauldron has shit timing now doesn’t it.”

I change the subject, “Do you have any ideas as to how you can whip a guard into shape without killing them? I can’t seem to get the right ratios of work and relaxation.”

Feyre’s not consumed by a fit of laughter. I bite my lip to keep from telling her to stop- I haven’t seen her laugh like this since before the war to begin with. “Why the hell are you asking me? I’m just a painter. Ask Cassian.”  
Amren grimaced. She tried to ask Cassian, except that he’s so consumed by the hellhounds presence that he never seems to hear her. It’s ridiculous. At least the hellhound knows about the bond between them. She stays as far away as possible to prevent him from feeling it too. You can tell by the way she banters whenever he’s sad. The way she constantly reads romance novels and the fact that she paid me money to steal a pillow from him and ever since I know that she sleeps more soundly. 

How is it that while one Archeon was completely oblivious to the mating bond the other is acutely aware of it and prevents it from snapping into place at all costs? The fire drake would never know.

“Alright. Thank you. Now get out of my apartment”, she smirks. “I have some letters to write.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	7. 7-Varian

_ Dear Varian,  _

_ Look, the stuff that I tell you is fine to scream into the world- if it wasn’t I wouldn’t of told you. Why would Cress feel inferior over a spy? Aren’t you the spymaster? Or is it Cress? I really shouldn’t ask much more- I don’t know how much I can tell you. _

_ Feyre is back at the Night Court and her and Rhys can’t take off their clothes fast enough- I’ve almost walked in on them twice since she returned a week ago… with Lucien in toe. Is Lucien a good man? I can’t really tell- those at the Autumn Court are constantly abused and I honestly wonder if Tamlin was abusing Lucien with his own type of abuse that he dishes out. He doesn’t deserve his position- getting into a deal with Hybern just to get a girl back. What the fuck is that? If anyone could defend themselves, it’s Feyre.  _

_ I’m not going to lie to you- I would ask Cassian about training guards except he makes googly eyes at Feyre’s hellhound of a sister all day- who I now have to train. Nesta may be a hellhound, death incarnate or whatever, but she isn’t a bitch to me, so I hope it goes well. _

_ Once again, if you truly are afraid, just use the magic stamp I attached to the letter and it will go directly to my apartment. And I’m sorry to say, but masquerades are Night Court business. Although, hypothetically, I would say that masks are meant to protect the person, or in the possible case of the Night Court, the heart of the Court. I can’t really say anything else on the subject. _

_ Thank you for your input on my shityness. It was nice of you to say.  _

_ Your Friend, _

_ Amren _

_ P.S- Thank the Cauldron you came to your senses. We are friends and thanks for dealing with my venting. Have you noticed that our letters are getting longer? It’s fucking ridiculous. I don’t even tell this much shit to my closest friends. What have you done to me, you monstrous bastard? _

…

Varian laughed out loud. What did he do to her? What did she do to  _ him _ ? He has never been so lazy in his life. So far, he had put off his paperwork concern retraining his guards for an the hour it took to get the letter and the five minutes it took to read it. And, he’s had to put a lot of his energy into not thinking about the magnificent firedrake he might be falling in like with. He won’t say love- because he hasn’t seen her in months and there’s a price on her head in his court. But, if he was being honest with himself, he was pretty close to being in love with her.

“Who’s the letter from”, says the smooth voice of a High Lord.

Varian flinched and turned to see Tarquin as the pillar of sandstone he has become- with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “It’s from no one important.”

Varian then proceeds to throw the letter with the enchanted stamp into the one drawer he has with a lock. He calls it the Amren Drawer. All of his letters from her are in there. 

Tarquin throws a raised eyebrow his way. “FIne. If you won’t tell me about it, I won’t push the matter.”, he pauses, “The Night Court is hosting a meeting of all High Lords with the setting up to us.”

The High Lord of the Summer Court then proceeds to look at his shoes and mumble something like a ten year old. “What?” 

“Why do you think that the Night Court is calling this meeting? They have everything they want…”

“Probably because they want to defeat Hybern and keep the humans safe. Feyre was human, her sisters were human and so it’s not like she’s going to leave them to dry. Since she’s back in the Night Court, Rhys is most likely just trying to keep her happy.”

Tarquin tilts his head, “No one knows where Feyre is. Where does your spy work in the palace exactly?”

I feel the blood rush from my face. I never thought of specifics. “She works in the kitchens and serves the Inner Circle dinner every night.” 

Tarquin lets out a dry laugh. “I hope that is the last time you lie to me. You can lie to Cress all you want. It doesn’t matter. You can withhold the truth from me, but don’t blatantly lie. It’s what got us in a feud with the Night Court in the first place. Lies. I hate them.”

I nodded and avoided his eye, “She’s a good person. I wouldn’t be continuing correspondence with her otherwise. If she was truly as bad as everyone believes her to be, at least ten of our guards would be dead by now.”

Tarquin nods at my assessment, “If this women can get one of the most tight assed people I know to take a break then they must be doing something right. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

I nod as Tarquin starts to leave my room, at the door way he says , “Why would I keep you from the one person who’s made you laugh for the first time in forty nine years? I’m not cruel.”

I smile. “Thanks High Lord” Then sit my ass down to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	8. 8-Amren

_ Dear Amren, _

_ Yes, I have noticed that the letters are getting longer- probably because we both are venting our bullshit going down. Yes, Cress is supposed to be the spymaster. She’s actually the one who organized the rebellion during Amarantha’s reign- it’s why she became spymaster- she fucking earned it. I wouldn’t tell anyone that unless if they ask though. I definitely don’t want my manhood on a pike on Cress’ balcony. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t either- otherwise, what would you have to play with? _

_ Anyways, Lucien wasn’t just kicked out of his court because of those he loved- but because of the fact that the people want him as the throne. I believe that he is probably the most kind out of all of the Autumn Court… the residents of autumn, despite what happened to his lover, would prefer  _ him _ over anyone else within the that court of bastards. He’s smart too… I’m pretty sure that his loyalty is his downfall. He felt loyal to Tamlin and that’s why he stayed. He fears being alone… and is loyal to a fault. You be the judge of his character then. _

_ I hope Nesta treats you decently… if you want me to be honest, she sounds like you. You’re both hellhounds that constantly defend the people you love. Maybe you can find solace in that. _

_ I hate to tell you this, but Tarquin caught me laughing at a letter- he asked questions and I tried to lie to him. But I failed, thank the Cauldron. I hate lying to the people I love. It upsets me… I always feel like when I lie to them, I lying to a part of myself. Brightside, we have Tarquin’s blessing- if that matters to you, (it matters to me). _

_ I heard about the High Lord meeting- is it to fight against Hybern, protect humans or both? I tried to convince Tarquin to go. I hate to say this, but I trust you, you fire drake demon woman.  _

_ Wish me luck. _

_ Your friend, Varian _

_ P.S- I figured you were wearing masks, I’m glad I know hypothetically why you would wear them. I hope that one day you won’t have to. _

…

Amren couldn’t hide the blinding smile that was invoked by Varian’s letters- she had little to smile about these days.

The hellhound constantly keeps herself in check, including her powers. How can she teach someone to unleash their powers who can’t let herself be unleashed? It’s not like she can help her become herself. Only her mate can do that.

Her mate, being Cassian, is being an asshole. He’ll barely talk to Nesta now and instead will spend his time Mor and Azriel. Weather or not that’s entirely his fault is something she doesn’t know. Mor will not let go of the safety blanket that Cassian provides and walk her ass out of the closet. Amren was fed up with Mor’s lies for centuries- but it’s not like she can actually do something about it. 

Amren herself is currently keeping an eye on Lucien while he’s within the House of Wind, especially since the last time he was out alone he went to the library. Where he was specifically told not to go. But, given the fact that Varian seems to trust him, “Why did you go to the library when we told you not to?”

Lucien looked down at her, with wide eyes of surprise and said, “I wanted to read a book. I figured since you people didn’t trust me enough I could read a good book to pass the time. But, it’s not like  _ your  _ servants know what  _  I  _ like. I figured I should pick out the books I want myself.” Lucien looked away and continued walking. After a minute, he added, “I had no idea that she was going to be in there. I only expected to deal with the hellcat.”

Amren chuckled, “You were willing to deal with the hellcat for some  _ books _ ?”

“Yes, I figured it would pass the time until I could prove myself trustworthy.”, he paused, “I don’t know if you people ever will. I don’t blame you, but I feel like I’m not wanted here and I have no problem leaving. A friend of mine in the Day Court could always use some help.”

Amren was surprised. Why would he want to leave? Just because he’s not wanted? But- “What about Elain?”

Lucien then looked her dead in the eyes. His good eye was full of sorrow and pain as he said, “She doesn’t need me right now. She doesn’t need  _ this _ right now. I’m not going to force anything on her and she needs space. I don’t know how long I can last suppressing the bond.” He paused and then looked around, making sure no one was around, “It hurts to breathe when I think about her.”, he clears his throat, “Just saying her name makes my throat feel like sandpaper. The bond is going to beat me into submission until I see her when she’s this close. Maybe if I’m farther away, it won’t hurt to not think about her as much.”

Amren had no idea that suppressing the bond could hurt someone. It wasn’t impossible. Rhys always got short of breath when he stayed away from Feyre for too long. He also couldn’t say her name when she was in the next room without his throat getting scratchy. Nesta’s throat was always scratchy whenever I tried to convince her to see Cassian. Sometimes, just saying his name put her into a coughing fit. 

“I can see why your people want you as their High Lord.”, the fire drake says evenly.

Lucien flinches, his eyes full of agony, “I hate that I left them behind. That I took away a father’s daughter because I loved her. I hate the fact that I couldn’t fight. I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself for not fighting.” He takes a deep breath, “I want to fight for her. My mate. I can’t do that right now. Right now, she needs family and she needs training. I can’t provide either for her. The best I can do is not be a distraction for her. It’s the only thing I can do at this point.”

Amren huffed, “I understand what you’re saying. But understand that Feyre is trying to get them to trust you. Sadly, I have on good authority that you’re loyal to a fault. So, I have to trust you.” She paused to notice Lucien’s small smile. It was as bright as the sun in the Day Court. “Feyre’s trying to find something for you to do. Wait until she says she can’t find you anything.”

Amren considered, “Do you know some good training techniques?”

Lucien then proceeded to go on a tangent about the best training techniques and tips about team building and getting them to use their terrain. This lasted all the way back to his room where he nodded as I waved my goodbye. It was time for her to go and tell Varian about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	9. 9-Varian

_ Dear Varian, _

_ I hope that you’re right, because I actually told Lucien that I trust him and we had a good conversation- it was enlightening to say the least. Anyways, during that conversation, I asked about training techniques and he said to get them to practice using their environment and team building helps. Also that the best soldiers can talk their way out of a fight and can calm down civilians. Hope that helps. _

_ I’m pretty sure the meeting is to both protect humans and fight against Hybern. Weather or not that will actually happen, I can’t tell you because no one’s responding well. We’re all a little worried on this end. Thanks for trying to get Tarquin to go. I appreciate it.  _

_ Nesta is okay- she won’t unleash herself and therefore won’t unleash her abilities. Why she does that is something I’m unsure of… but there’s only one person who could help her and it isn’t me. I have no clue what to do about it because I don’t mettle. It’s not my strong suit. I feel like I might have to if I want to train Nesta properly. _

_ By the way, I give no shits concerning Tarquin’s blessing or the fact that he knows. It’s redundant to me. What the fuck can he do about it? I can easily kill my way through his guard- hopefully not as badly now that you have some decent training techniques- or at least a start. Although, I still haven’t told anyone. I don’t want anyone in my business.  _

_ Did you know that suppressing a mating bond can actually hurt you? Lucien’s throat is raw from suppressing his and Nesta can barely speak because she suppresses hers. Why has that never been public information? It should be... _

_ And, as much as I hate to admit it, I trust you too you monstrous bastard. Don’t tell anyone though. I’m the one that’s not supposed to trust anyone.   _

_ Your Friend, _

_ Amren _

_ P.S- I’m glad you know that your manhood is mine. It’s good that you got with the program. And I would skin Cress alive for laying a blade on your manhood. Or anywhere else for that matter. _

…

Varian was smirking after reading the letter. It was the best part of his week. He needed some good news especially after what’s been going on lately. 

Hybern’s men have been moving closer and closer to the Summer Court border. They now wait just on the edge, with their swords out and their thirst for blood prominent. It’s only a matter of time. 

They seem to be waiting for something: what, Varian didn’t know.

Then he heard it: a cannon. It shook the castle. Then another. Then another. It didn’t stop. It was unending. I looked out my window and saw it.

At least one hundred ships across the bay, all fit with two cannons and the flag of Hybern. They were shooting our ships- more like destroying them. As fifty ships became ten, Varian quickly grabbed his gear.

He will protect his people. He will save as many has he can. 

But first, he has a letter to write. He opens the drawer and scrawls down a note and places the seal on the note. It disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	10. 10-Amren

_ Dear Amren, _

_ Hybern is attacking us… we’re outgunned and outnumbered. Your assistance would be appreciated. _

_ Thank you. For everything. _

_ Your something, _

_ Varian _

… 

Amren was trying to deny it, but the truth was: she was freaking out. All she could think about was him, covered in blood, hurt, dead or worse: captured by Hybern and being tortured for information as we speak.

She was in the House of Wind living room, pacing back and forth, trying to piece together Varian’s well being. Everyone was out and about dealing with the aftermath of the battle. She was blissfully alone. Even the hellhound was tending to her mate.

When Mor and Feyre came back to Velaris, they said that the High Lord was fine. Angry, but fine. They  were covered in blood themselves. Alive and well- Feyre would have nightmares for a while and she wouldn’t eat until Rhys practically forced her. She would be feeling the aftereffects of the battle for a bit.

They didn’t talk about him. Didn’t even mention his name. Of course, it makes sense, no one would. She hasn’t told anyone about him. She was just content to have him- alone. She didn’t want anyone interfering with it. She wanted to protect herself from the truth.

They were something beyond friends. Her heart hasn’t felt this full of emotions since Rhys left. When Feyre left, she knew that the former human would return. With Rhys, there was the uncertainty. They didn’t know he was dead- they didn’t know.

She didn’t know. She still didn’t know. She hates not knowing.

“What did the carpet ever do to you?”, Rhys said with his silky voice of sarcasm. I hissed in reply. 

I didn’t want to deal with him now. I just wanted to calm my thoughts. I just wanted to know if he was okay. If Varian was alive, or hurt, or dead, or… “Your shields are down. Why do you worry about Varian so much? He’s fine. He’s the one who lead Feyre to Tarquin.”

Amren breathed a sigh of relief. She sat right on the floor and did her best to hold back tears. She constantly thanked the Cauldron. He’s okay. He’s fine. He’s not hurt. He’s not dead. He’s not captured.

He’s fine. Amren took a deep breath. “How’d you even get him to send a letter to you in the first place? Are you okay? What’s going on Amren?”

She snorted, “It’s not your business to know.”

Rhys then looked down at her, his eyes full of anger, “You’re my friend. That alone should be enough. When your shields are down, and you, of all people, are on the verge of crying, it means something’s going on. I want to know what.”

Amren pulled herself together, “Varian and I have been exchanging letters for months, ever since the blood rubies.”

Rhys quickly extinguishes his surprise, “Go on. I won’t tell.”

She takes a deep breath, “At first I did it to get updates on Feyre, and to annoy Varian. Then, he turned out to be one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I’ve got him wrapped around my finger.”, I pause, considering, “But he’s also got me wrapped around his.”

Rys smiles a knowing smile. “What?” I say angrily.

“That’s called love Amren. Having one another wrapped around your fingers is love- in a nutshell. Or at least the beginning of it.”

She breathes again, “What am I supposed to do?”

Rhys smirks before heading towards the door, “Follow your heart Amren. If you have one.”

Amren’s heart said a few things starting with: no more letters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


	11. 11-Varian AND Amren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The name kinda says it all at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the final stretch everyone. Thank you and Congratulations for making it this far. Kudos and feed back people are wonderfully appreciated. Thanks for sticking with this through the whole thing it means a lot.   
> P.S It starts off in Varian's perspective and swiches whenever perspective whenever you see the ...  
> Just wanted to be clear and make sure no one was confused since this is the only chapter in this format.  
> Again thank you all. :)

“You.”, Cress said, fury softening her voice to a point of a pillow. Most likely to trick people into thinking that this isn’t a major scolding coming my way.

Since, the battle, Varian did the best he could in the infirmary. He healed as many people as he could. He wrote letters to countless loved ones of his men if they didn’t make it. He wrote countless letters to loved ones because his men were too weak to lift a pen. Whatever he could do to help his men get better. Whatever the cost.

They came to help. His letter made it to her. He hoped she was okay and would save his time to worry about her when he was alone. He didn’t want prying eyes to notice leverage. Just because the Night Court isn’t an enemy doesn’t mean that the Summer Court has no enemies. Hybern just attacked them- with the Spring Court as their ally. He would rather not expose one of his few weaknesses, thank you very much.

“Yes.”, Varian stated absentmindedly. He hasn’t slept since before the battle. He was so, so tired. He just wanted rest. But he knew his duties and would complete them before his head ever hit the pillow. “I’m working.”  
“You need to come with me. Now.”, Cress said, barely able to contain her fury.

Fighting back a smirk, the Prince of Adriata cocked his head, “Why? My work is here. I haven’t finished my letters to the families of those who died. I still have to do the math to see how much compensation I can provide. I also have to check on the injured men to see if they will be able to go back to the army.” He paused, remembering the injuries of his men, “If they can’t, I need to add them to list of people to be compensated as well. My work is here.”

Cress then proceeded to grab him by the arm and drag him out of the room, “Your Night Court spy is here.” Then she hit Varian in the back of the head. However, due to sleep deprivation, he didn’t feel much. “You are in so much trouble, young man!”

Varian shrugged, “Prove it.”

Cress scoffed and led him to his own room. She put a hand to his chest before he could open the door, “She’s the reason we survived isn’t she? You told her about the attack and they decided to help.”

He smiled, “They aren’t as bad as we think they are. It’s just an illusion. One that I hope to see through one day.”

Cress huffed, “Be glad that Tarquin didn’t notice her.” I gave her a pleading look and she muttered, “Cauldon help us.” Then she let me go.

… 

The fire drake didn’t have a problem sneaking into the Summer Court. She didn’t even have a problem sneaking into Adriata. She just had a problem that Varian wasn’t in his room. He wasn’t resting. He just fought a large scale battle two days ago. He should be resting. 

Yet his bed remained untouched. There was a thin layer of dust on  his bed. He hasn’t been around for a long time. He was uninjured… wasn’t he? Then the Spymaster of the Summer Court rushed in, with a dagger in her hand ready to throw.

“What do you want you demon.”  
Amren shrugged her off, “How’s Varian? Last I checked he was supposed to be uninjured.”

Cress failed to hide her surprise. Her jaw dropped to the floor and her eyes filled with calculation. After a few minutes, her eyes filled with understanding, “You’re his spy?”

She cracked a smile, “Of course. Now, where is he?”

Cress hesitated, “Attending to his duties. But he hasn’t slept since before the battle he refuses to go down until all of his work is done.” She paused, looking up and down at Amren, “Do you think you would be able to convince him to  rest?”

Amren nodded. Now here they were. Standing across from one another, staring at one another in awe and calculation. Trying our best not to pounce on one another- and I have never been so relieved and happy all at once.

Varian had dark eye circles the size of a gold coin. He looks tired and worried. Worried about who?

“You shouldn’t be here you could get yourself killed!”, Varian seethes. Was he worried about her? She wasn’t the one who almost died two days ago.

“I wanted to see if your okay. You look like shit.”

Varian looks himself up and down, “I have work to do and I’m uninjured.”

Amren tries not to hit him into next week. She takes a deep breath. Then, she pushes Varian to the bed. “You need sleep. You can’t run yourself ragged two days after a battle. You can’t do your work properly if you aren’t well rested.”

By the time she finished stating the reasons he should rest, he’s already asleep. He looks so peaceful. She wishes that he always looked that peaceful.

Then, to keep him from waking up, she covers him up and climbs into the bed beside him.

She hasn’t slept that well in millenia.

…

Amren was here. Amren was okay. She was fine. Thank the Cauldron.

Varian woke up as the sun rose only to feel someone beside him. He looks down and sees the firedrake sound asleep and more peaceful then he’s ever seen her. 

“DId you even have sex?” Varian flinches and looks up to see Cress sitting in a chair right by his bed. 

“You don’t know what happened.” I wiggle my eyebrows to get a laugh.

Cress was not amused; but her features did soften, “You look well rested. I’m glad.” She paused, considering, “I’m assuming Tarquin doesn’t know. So I have just one question: Why did you betray us?”

Varian can see her trying to control her rage. Betray them? If anything, he helped them. Without his correspondence with Amren, the Night Court wouldn’t have come to aid. Before he could retort, Amren said, voice hoarse from sleep, “Fuck you. He didn’t betray anyone. Calm the fuck down and see how he helped you.”

Amren then wiggled and Varian released her from his arms. He didn’t even know that he wrapped her arms around her. How did that happen? “Thanks for getting me to sleep you fire drake demon woman. Will I ever sleep that well around you again?”

Amren chuckled, stretching her arms and standing on her tip toes. She then proceeded to take a deep breath and look at the sunrise, “Of course not. You will experience the full perks of the program you monstrous bastard”

I chuckled and saw her smile. It was as fiery and perfect as her. “Is that so?”

Amren got directly in my face and said with clarity and bravado, “The next time you see me I will show you how to properly use a bed.”

I laughed wholeheartedly and with a wicked grin Amren winnowed away. It was at that moment that Varian knew that the fire drake would be the death of him.

And yet I couldn’t stop smiling about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on tumblr here: https://samaykay912.tumblr.com/  
> Feel free to follow me :)  
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day :D


End file.
